Favorite Mistress

Dry your tears, sista

Hey, yo, listen to me
It’s not the first time you get into such a situation
Cuz I’m sure you used to do something that you didn’t really want to
You just tried to justify somebody’s hopes, but failed,
Because your desire to do it was fake
And then you felt so bad!

Verse 1

I’m not nervous, mommy, I’m just tired to be your docile daughter
You always wanted me to become a sort of “must-have-been-you”,
Fulfil your childhood dream come hell or high water
And I really got it, yeah, I was trying to be upfront
But you were blind to my truth – it didn’t correspond
To the picture of the world which you wanted me to live in
Even you kept rubbing it in and now you see me leaving
Raised your eyebrows on how I could live in such a mess
I confess, I needed a bit of everything
You said it’s worthless, but I yelled  – order is sameness
The only thing that I got from you was just your protest
So I had to be good, I had to be polite – it annoyed me
Sometimes I needed a bloody fight, but def I had to put out
My tremendous inner light – it destroyed me
I wouldn’t get you upset, so I did as you said I might

Chorus:

Look, I was trying to get
Your esteem and your respect
I really stood on my head
To grow your favorite mistress
But then I felt myself bent
I understood that’s the end
Because I wasn’t quite meant
To be your favorite mistress

Verse 2

And my lover wasn’t good for you – he was a creep you said
Negligible quantity, he made you feel so bad
My man should be well-heeled, and he should be the best
But who is that hollow dork? You hate his ass
You never let him in the door – he caused you distress
No matter it hurt me deep it turned to abscess
I followed your policy to be pure
Apart from my feelings they were caged for sure
Strict clothes, good manners, artificial speeches
I’m gorgeous, real lady, unlike those stupid bitches
But I felt ill at ease, I should believe you
Still it’s my life, I’m the only one to live it
First, I didn’t think of resisting you at all
But everything I did in my life incited only gall
I knew it was time for my stubborn mannish nature as you call it
And all my being claimed I didn’t really want it

Chorus

Verse 3

Coming up, coming up to your big goal
I give up, screw it up, and I am in fault
Trying to reach ya, you were trying to teach me
Reluctant to diss ya, now I kiss ya
Forgive me, I failed to be an exemplary split
Simply I turned out to be completely unfit
I’m a bad girl, and all my chances are hurled
But now I feel much better and my grounds are firm

Chorus